Bringing home a new baby is stressful. They change everything in the household. A strong support system can make all the difference in helping you cope and adjust to your new normal.
When you have support, you are able to create a more healthy and caring environment for your baby.
The type of support network new parents will need depends on the parents themselves. Maybe you need in-person help to give you a break. Maybe that person is a next-door neighbor, parent, or friend. Perhaps frequent phone calls with a loved one who has a baby would bring you comfort.
A formal support group might work better for you. And don’t underestimate the value of supportive coworkers and medical professionals. The most important thing is finding the support that meets your needs and situation.
How Can Extended Family Be a Support System for New Parents?
Extended family can support new parents by showing up to pick up the slack in all the areas where it’s easy to feel like you’re falling behind. Things like dirty dishes, laundry, and clutter tend to pile up with a new baby in the house.
Family members can help with laundry and/or prepare a home-cooked meal to pop in the freezer for later in the week. They can hold the baby while you grab a shower or a walk and do some grocery shopping while you get some rest.
Having people you trust step in to relieve some pressure and cross things off your to-do list can do wonders for your emotional, mental, and physical well-being.
Your family tends to know you better than anyone. They can anticipate your needs and do things the way you would want them done. They may not feel as in the way as acquaintances might — they’ve likely been in your home and know where to find things. You might also feel more comfortable leaving the baby alone with a family member.
How Can Friends Be a Support System for New Parents?
Friends can support new parents by bringing laughter into the exhaustion, camaraderie to lonely night shifts, and grace to the new parents’ relentless workload. Not everyone has a family support network nearby or at all, and sometimes, a family support network makes things more difficult for new parents.
Good friends can be less complicated than family members. You can lean on them and be your imperfect, messy selves. Friends are often the first to notice signs of discouragement and recommend you talk with an expert.
Give your friend group a heads up that you will be calling on them to come to your rescue. They can pick up essential items like ice cream, nipple cream, diaper cream, or all the above.
Maybe some members of your friend group have been through the newborn experience. They will understand what you’re going through. Others may not be in your shoes yet but know that you will be there for them when they are.
How Can the Community Be a Support System for New Parents?
Perhaps you’re a new parent in a new place without family or close friends. There are resources in your community that can offer support.
Many towns offer tangible assistance for new parents, like:
- Diaper drives.
- Mommy-and-me outings.
- Visitation services.
Your local library, community center, hospital birthing center, and faith-based organizations can offer a variety of activities and resources. Those resources can connect you with the people and programs that can help you and your new addition.
For example, you might learn about a storytime you could attend with your baby. Perhaps there’s a community park where new moms gather to take stroller walks. Let your care team know you could use support. Accept suggestions and help — you don’t have to do it all yourself.
How Can Coworkers Be a Support System for New Parents?
Some colleagues may support your time with your new baby; others will merely tolerate the interruption. You may already have a sense of who’s really supportive at work. Talk with other parents in the office about how they navigated their leaves, and you may find even more company cheerleaders.
Ask your work support team to remind less supportive colleagues about the great work you’ve always done and who to call during your leave. Your human resources department can also offer support.
How Can Health Care Professionals Be a Support System for New Parents?
Health care professionals can support new moms with postpartum follow-up visits and screenings. Dads who struggle with new fatherhood can benefit from seeing their primary care physicians.
Postpartum visits for new moms
Postpartum visits screen new moms for mental health concerns in addition to physical health concerns. Based on the screening, doctors can recommend the appropriate resources for postpartum depression and anxiety.
New moms and their loved ones can also continue to watch for common signs of postpartum depression. They can appear up to a year postpartum. They include:
- Anxiety.
- Feeling “off.”
- Hopelessness.
- Not being engaged with the baby.
- Sadness.
Postpartum depression is an illness. It does not mean you are a bad mother. There is better treatment than ever before to help moms. You deserve to feel better. Your doctor can help.
New dads can also experience postpartum depression
It is not uncommon for new dads to experience paternal postpartum depression. Postpartum depression feelings in new moms and dads are often similar, but they reveal themselves in different ways. Men are more likely to exhibit:
- Aggression or anger — such as flying off the handle easily.
- Anxiety, stress, or inability to relax.
- Emotional absence — such as not paying attention or being present in the moment.
- Increased alcohol or drug use to escape from stress.
- Physical absence — such as working long hours or avoiding being at home.
- Self-harm.
- Violence — such as punching a wall.
Paternal postpartum depression needs further research, but treatment is important. With support from a doctor or mental health provider, dads can work through the pressures of being a new parent.
Editor's Note: This article was originally published on , and was last reviewed on .